Free at Last?

Not sure I can live up to profound, but I'll share what I'm feeling...

A little let down. The after-Christmas blues. On Christmas it comes after you've eaten too much, given & received a bunch of gifts, opened the final door on the Advent calendar. Then it's time to clean up, take down...

I hated wearing those shirts. SO looked forward to wearing something else- the way I anticipate Christmas. I thought putting on a new shirt would pink my cheeks, make me feel like a superstar. Which one? So many choices. The olive tee, of course! The one that reads, "Many hands make the load lighter." In Haitian Creole. I'd forgotten I even owned it. Hadn't had it for too long before we started this game.

I put it on, waited. Where were the satisfaction fireworks?

Don't I get it yet that true joy only comes from Him? Of course I am let down. Wearing that shirt, though ridiculously insignificant, helped me stay connected to the hurting. Kept me outside of myself for a bit. I don't want to go back to me a month ago. Dissatisfied with my wardrobe, furniture, kitchen, barren womb and everything else.

Yesterday morning I watched cars tumble, houses split and collapse- tsunami footage from Japan. I could only gape and cry. All that stuff, human dreams, achievements, livelihoods, real people {gulp}- smashed to memories.

How can I possibly go back to thinking about stuff when the whole world is hurting so? What a waste. Getting more, maintaining what I have... People are waking up in heaven today. And hell. All of them, no matter how much or how little they had, knew stuff. Stuff without Him is a death sentence. Feeding the poor without sharing the Gospel of Christ is empty. Leve Project is dedicated to sharing the Gospel in Haiti. Microloans, community groups- all wonderful, all secondary. I love what they are doing. I want to continue being involved. We're done with the t-shirts, so now what?